GET TEACHING TIPS AND FREE RESOURCES

The Brown Bag Teacher

Teach the Children. Love the Children. Change the World.

Narrative Writing: Zooming into Small Moments

Outside of “What do I write about?” (see that post here) teaching students to zoom into a small moment is one of the first skills I teach during narrative writing. Without this concept, we have grocery-list stories that involve lots of conjunctions, commas, and actually tell you nothing! So, here are a series of mini-lessons that we loved over the past week all about digging into small moments.

Watermelon vs. Seed Moments

At the beginning of the week, we started with the hands-on. So often in writing we forget to start with the concrete and move to the representational. It’s best practice in math (and we totally do that) but for writing we somehow always jump to the pencil.

So, I brought in a mini-watermelon and we took a minute to pass it around. We talked about how big it was, what it looked like, and we even tried telling EVERYTHING about it. We decide it would be *really* hard to eat a watermelon like this.

So, we cut into the watermelon to make it more manageable. (Then, #teacherfail – I BOUGHT A SEEDLESS WATERMELON. <insert every face palm emoji here> Thankfully there were still white seed, so our metaphor continued. Students decided that the cut watermelon was definitely more manageable to eat and talk about.

We then made the connection that the HUGE watermelon was just like our “List Stories”. I went to the park, then I played on the slide. Then I went on the swim. Finally it was dark. I went home. We talked that knowing what happened is very different than knowing all the details.

Relating it to Ourselves

We went back to our writing journals and brought them back to the carpet. Students shared “Watermelon Stories” in their journals that they may need to revisit. (Note – this totally wasn’t a shaming lesson and totally voluntary. I love pulling examples from our own writing because it makes it much more real. (Snag this organizer for your classroom here.)

As students shared one of their watermelon stories, I asked – “So ___________, instead of writing about the WHOLE __________, what part can you go back and describe?” When students picked specific parts (hitting the piñata, riding the roller coaster), we called these ‘Seed Moments’.

Finally, it was writing time! As students worked, I delivered plates of watermelon as a motivator and reminder to think small. Then, I started conferencing with my habitual list-story writers. 😉

The next day we continued practicing zooming into moments. I brought in my Dad’s binoculars (eeeek – how exciting!) and talked “What happens when you zoom in?” After looking at our class plants from across the room, we decided we could see SO much more with binoculars. We could see all the details!
We made the connection that our readers weren’t with us when our event happened, so we need to include all the details important to the story. Readers should be able to create a mental picture as they read your story.

Using Mentor Texts

After a few minutes of hands-on zooming-in practice, we used the Mentor Text Roller Coaster to see how a famous author zooms into a story. This is a *PERFECT* text for small moments. Marla Frazee takes the reader all through the roller-coaster process (waiting in line, seeing the carts arrive, getting nervous and wanting to leave, being buckled in, etc.). Plus, she uses some great text/writing features that students love to emulate – using dashes to stretch out words, using CAPITAL letters to place emphasis on words, using sound words.
As a teacher, these are all features I pointed out as we read. I would write examples on the board and as a class, we practiced reading these phrases with and without those special features. What a difference they make!

Putting it Into Action

After reading together, it was time to put this mentor text into action! Students went back to write about a seed moment (or revise an old story) adding stretched-out words, sounds words, and punctuation that adds meaning.
Below is a narrative from one of my on-level friends – “This weekend my cousins came over. It was so fun. We play outside and we played walkie-talkies – WEEE! We hid around the room. We tried to find each other. But we could not. It was a fun time.”
 
For Day 2 of zooming into small moments, I am THRILLED! Plus, he begged to share it with the class because he included a sound word (WEEE) just like Marla Frazee did. (Which is fabulous and makes my teacher-heart so happy! It’s also a great motivator to keep using mentor texts.)

Fireflies

On Day 3ish (possibly 4…I don’t remember), we read another Mentor Text together – Fireflies by Julie Brincklow. This is a totally different type of book from Roller Coaster. It is more serious, definitely more detailed, and is truly a beautiful narrative about a little boy catching fireflies with his friends and releasing them.
Fireflies is the perfect text to talk about why zooming in matters. After reading the book, our class wrote what the story would sound like if we didn’t zoom-in. “I was eating dinner. Then, I got a jar and went outside. We all caught fireflies. Then, it was time for bed. Before they died, I opened the jar and let the fireflies go.” <insert 1st Grade GASP> My friends all agreed that this was not nearly as wonderful of a story as the one Ms. Brincklow wrote. We read it again, this time with our eyes closes, so we could make a picture in our mind.

Shared Writing

This day, we actually spent our writing time together. Shared Writing is a perfect way to high features of many different mentor texts focusing on the strengths of lots of different students. We decided to zoom into building a sandcastle. Although not perfect, we have a great start to a narrative. Plus, we include some of those great features from Roller Coaster (VERY, wee, A-L-L) and Fireflies (small details about the day).

Since writing it at the end of the day, and we ran out of the time – the next morning during ‘Morning Work’ students came in and started working on their narratives. It’s a perfect way to sneak a few more moments for writing!

This friend is sharing about his recent trip to the zoo, seeing tigers. My favorite line – “One did not look fun. He was lame.” Hahahaha – classic and perfect 1st grade writing. (Note – he does go on to explain the lame tiger behavior.)

This week we are continuing to write about small moments but are transitioning into beginning/middle/end of our small moments, as well as, how to use our 5 senses to describe our small moments. The following week, we are going to begin exploring dialogue – eek. 🙂 I’ll be back to share soon! (Snag these resources for your classroom here.)
Until then, how do you stop grocery-list stories and encourage students to zoom into small moments? Do you have any favorite mentor texts? I’d love to hear your ideas!

Get Free Teaching Resources!

Join me for weekly classroom updates and free resources that are just-right for your guided math classroom!

Powered by ConvertKit

Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. Such wonderful lessons! I am wondering what type of writing journals you use. I really like the wider lines and the area to put a picture at the top of the page. Thank you for sharing more inspirational ideas!

    Reply

    • Hi Mandy! I actually picked up some Primary Writing journals from Dollar Tree (just for my struggle . I haven't seen them since. I know you can order them on Amazon and Lakeshore, too…but they are really expensive. I actually prefer real composition notebooks but know that my struggling writers need the extra support!

      Reply

    • To whom it may concern,

      There is a tech expert that can help you in recovering all the money lost to scammers online. It recently worked for me and I now have peace of mind after the huge recovery of all my lost funds. If you are a victim of online scams then I will advise you contact them with the details below.

      Email: alliancedigitalrecovery (AT) outlook.com
      Whatsapp: +44 7,,4,,5,,2,, 2,,4,,7,,2,,7,,7

      Reply

  2. Such wonderful lessons! I am wondering what type of writing journals you use. I really like the wider lines and the area to put a picture at the top of the page. Thank you for sharing more inspirational ideas!

    Reply

  8. It did this "seed moments" lesson with my kiddos this week. My husband and I had a long discussion about whether or not you can still buy watermelons with seeds!!?? I should have just gone for it like you did…I'm sure your kids will remember it for a long time :0) Great post! I'm trying hard to incorporate more writing. Keep the ideas coming!!

    Reply

  11. What I encountered for the current year that worked was having leaders at creation organizations let me know that they like my material and believe should accomplish something with it. At any rate, despite the fact that we want to continue to compose, walker yellowstone jacket

    Reply

    • When you think of comfortable and stylish outerwear, a hoodie comes to mind. If you are looking for this type of hoodie, I heartily suggest you try this project Gap pink hoodie. This hoodie has the best combination of style and comfort.

      Reply

  13. When you think of comfortable and stylish outerwear, a hoodie comes to mind. If you are looking for this type of hoodie, I heartily suggest you try this project gap pink hoodie. This hoodie has the best combination of style and comfort.

    Reply

  14. We supply all materials used in treating and cleaning of any type of defaced currency, Pounds, CFA France, Euros, Dollars and other currencies. Our qualified professionals are ever ready to meet and handle the clean if you so wish, also we help and clean for the customer who don’t have money to buy Chemical/Materials after registration.
    buy ssd solution online
    BUY HIGH QUALITY SSD CHEMICALS SOLUTION FOR CLEANING BLACK MONEY
    ssd chemical solution price
    ssd chemical solution for cleaning black money
    ssd chemical solution ingredients pdf
    how to make ssd solution
    black money cleaning chemicals suppliers
    ssd solution price in pakistan
    ssd solution cleaning lab
    Buy SSD Chemical Solution Online
    Buy Ssd Chemical
    Buy SSD chemical Solution Online
    SSD chemical solution cleaningblacknotes
    SSD CHEMICAL SOLUTION FOR CLEANING BLACK MONEY
    SSD Chemical Solution Price
    SSD Solution Chemical – to clean black money
    SSD Chemical Solution Online – SSD Chemical Solution Online
    SSD CHEMICAL SOLUTION FOR CLEANING BLACK MONEY
    Buy SSD CHEMICAL, ACTIVATION POWDER and MACHINE
    Buy SSD chemical Solution Online
    Buy SSD Chemical Solution Online
    buy ssd chemical solution
    ssd chemical solution price
    black money cleaning chemicals suppliers
    ssd chemical solution ingredients pdf
    ssd chemical solutions
    https://09uu0u0.com/

    Reply

  15. Are you an outdoor enthusiast looking for the perfect companion to enhance your adventures? If so, have you considered the Yellowstone Vest? This versatile and reliable piece of outdoor gear has been gaining popularity among nature lovers, hikers, and explorers alike.

    Reply

  16. To whom it may concern,

    There is a tech expert that can help you in recovering all the money lost to scammers online. It recently worked for me and I now have peace of mind after the huge recovery of all my lost funds. If you are a victim of online scams then I will advise you contact them with the details below.

    Email: alliancedigitalrecovery (AT) outlook.com
    Whatsapp: +44 7,,4,,5,,2,, 2,,4,,7,,2,,7,,7

    Reply

  17. Title: “BRUNOE QUICK HACK: Your Lifeline for Crypt0currency Scam Recovery”

    When recovering from crypt0currency scams, BRUNOE QUICK HACK is the name you can trust. Losing access to your valuable assets can be overwhelming, but with our exceptional recovery services, you don’t have to face it alone. BRUNOE QUICK HACK. WhatsApp +(1) 705 -784- 2635  Meet Strait George, a determined trader from Bremen, Germany, who successfully reclaimed his lost funds with the support of our professional team. Contact us at brunoequickhack AT gmail(.)com and let us be your guiding light in the darkest times. Website: brunoequickhack .COM

    Reply

  18. A Beacon of Hope: BRUNOE QUICK H A C K’s Scam Recovery Services”

    When all seemed lost, BRUNOE QUICK H A C K came to the rescue. Strait George, a trader from Bremen, Germany, shares his story of how our prompt action and expertise led to the recovery of his scammed funds. In a time of uncertainty, our dedicated team is here to help you reclaim what’s rightfully yours. Reach out to us at brunoequickhack (AT) gmail DOT com and let us guide you towards a brighter future. WhtasApp: + 170-“578-42”-635
    W.e.b.s.i.t.e: brunoequickhack .COM

    Reply

  19. Need assistance recovering stolen cryptocurrency wallets, recovering cryptocurrency taken by scammers, or reporting a Bitcoin scammer to recover cryptocurrency? There’s only one way to tackle this: to recover assets that have been deceived by scammers, you need to work with an experienced professional in cryptocurrency recovery. I had made several attempts to get my money back after losing $417,000 to an online fraudulent investment organisation. I tried a number of recovery businesses, and most of them ended up demanding more money. My former colleague advised me about WIZARD JAMES RECOVERY. I contacted the Expert and, upon submitting my reports, the Expert was successful in retrieving my funds. WIZARD JAMES RECOVERY can be reached at: WIZARDJAMESRECOVERY(@)USA(.)COM

    Reply

  20. The Brunoe Quick Hack: Your Ally in the Quest for Lost Bitcoin

    When the unthinkable happens and your precious Bitcoin somehow slips through your fingers, vanishing into the vast, unforgiving digital ether, it can feel utterly hopeless. But fear not, for the Brunoe Quick Hack is here to be your steadfast companion on the daunting journey to recover those lost crypto riches. This ingenious, meticulously crafted tool is the product of years of research, coding, and experimentation by a team of blockchain security experts who understand the high-stakes, nail-biting panic of misplacing your Bitcoin. The Brunoe Quick Hack leverages advanced cryptographic techniques and machine learning algorithms to comb through the blockchain, leaving no digital stone unturned in the pursuit of your missing coins. With an intuitive user interface and lightning-fast processing power, this remarkable software empowers even crypto novices to take their recovery efforts into their own hands, leaving no avenue unexplored in the quest to resurrect their lost Bitcoin holdings. Whether you accidentally sent your funds to the wrong wallet address, fell victim to a devious hacking scheme, or simply can’t locate your private keys, the Brunoe Quick Hack is an invaluable ally ready to spring into action and restore your financial security. So don’t lose hope when the unthinkable happens – let this revolutionary tool be your guide through the labyrinth of the blockchain and reclaim what is rightfully yours. For more information, call: Need their service? Text them on Whatsapp + (1)
    705 784 26 35
    Email: Brunoequickhack (AT) GMAIL (DOT) COM
    Website: Brunoequickhack COM

    Good Day.

    Reply

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *